Grabe na ito…wow, 5 hours of non-stop banging, oldies songs and those I can’t understand. You see, may lamay (wake) sa ibaba namin, sa ground floor. Kahapon it was all quiet although you can smell the food. Pero today, dhay! Maloka ang tenga ko….I think it’s the last day of the funeral service. Palagay ko may kaya itong “uncle” na ito (man siya) dahil magarbo ang presentation ng banners, I believe it’s the announcement of the deceased affliations.

From one side of our building to the other side meron siyang mga parang pinagdikit-dikit na tela na may sulat na intsik at meron pang mga naka-mount sa mga metal na bars, parang mga painting ng mga taong nag-mamartial arts or may mga gawain I’m not sure kung ano, puro may glitters ito at nababalutan pa ng plastic cover dahil umuulan. Maganda naman sila, mga 5-6 ito. Bukod pa sa mga quilt na may naka-pin na salita na nakasabit malapit sa mga naiwan. I think I’d ask our church mates ano ang relevance nito.

Ayan nagkakantahan pa rin…o, well, it has to end some time….

has it been a month since my cystectomy operation? time flies...but i guess for us who have undergone an operation, we wish days would go reallllyyyy fast! (...woosshhh!)

the other day though i had some light spotting. not sure if it's my menses becoz it's due next week. i read somewhere that sometimes spotting is normal and that the operation somehow causes our system go haywire. so for now, hubby and i are observing. 3rd day spotting, very light. also got stomach pain, don't know if this is from gas again or probably just hunger.

just praying the Lord will help me through all this. so far, minimal pain (sharp pains sometimes) and healing well. Praise God.

COFFEE PLS...

FIRST thing that comes to mind soon as i wake up is COFFEE. i've been a "coffee-drinker" ever since i can remember. minsan nga naging bansag sa akin ay "miguel"...we had this neighbor before, si miguel. he has downe-syndrome but a very gentle and friendly person. i guess he's in his 30s then...who can tell? pagpumasok yan o kumatok sa bahay ninyo ang unang hinihingi niya ay kape. tapos saka siya nakikipagkwentuhan.

"may kape ba kayo?" o "pahingi ng kape." aniya. BLACK. kadalasan binibigyan na lang namin siya, black talaga...kasi kahit kami sa bahay black din walang cream o gatas. my barkada knew him, kaya pagpumupunta ako sa bahay nila dahil wala naman kaming pambili ng coke o softdrinks, kape ang request ko...thus the name, "oy, miguel...!" (yessss?)

sa ngayon at 44, ang iniinom ko na ay milo kundi ovaltine. yes, may caffaine pa rin daw, not that strong. dahil sa aking kidneys pinagbawal ng doctor. don't worry, they're both fine now, the stones passed. but i'm still off a lot of my comfort foods like peanuts and taho. strawberries...and a whole lot more.

THE REAL THING....

another one i miss is coke...the COLA. natatandaan ko noon pag kumakain sa school, (teacher na, lakas na ng loob umutang sa kantin) yan ang padulas ng pambara (lunch). there was a rumour going around the water was not safe, something that has to do with a cat....(nyeee!) kaya imbes na uminom ng tubig, softdrinks o mineral water ang order namin.

dahil hindi mo namamalayan na pati ang sistema ng katawan ay apektado, kundi pa bumigay ito...saka mo marealize, tama nga sila kailangan nga ng 8 glasses or more of water sa araw-araw. advantages: (1)ganda ng sistema ng katawan, since most of our body is made up of water...replenish! (2)good skin (di tuyot) (3) kidney feels good. sa tutoo lang!


BOOKS..books..books!

after a year here in sg, i realised i spent half of my allowance on books. i frequent fareast plaza, an interesting mall. mura ang tinda nila. they have shoes, bags, belts, clothes and second hand books! but there is a cheaper option. be a member of the national library, one can borrow 4 books/magazines for a fee. this is for a period of 3 weeks per item. ayaw ka pa niyan..laki ng menos sa budget. eh ang isang bagong paperback dito $16+ (SGD) converted, mga P496 din yun...

anyway, madalas ako sa community lib malapit sa lugar namin mula ng nagmember ako (walking distance lang) pwede ka tumambay at magbasa on arts and crafts... photography...news...at kung ano pa ang interest mo. and free aircon din.


SCRAPBOOKING

i can remember mahilig ako mag-gugupit ng maliliit na picture tapos ididikit ko sa notebook o sa album. minsan may photo album ako na binili on sale kasi, P10 ang isang bundle ng refill....ang gagawin ko lalagyan ko ng makapal na cardboard bilang cover at mapaganda ito ng hallmark na pambalot. plastikan...at meron na kaming photo album.

next step, halukayin ang mga naghambalang na mga litrato. idikit sa madikit na refill...at lagyan ng palamuti na pinaggugupit mula sa mga stationaries na luma o yung bang mga pinag-malian. imbes na itapon kadalasan hilig kong itabi. o cute di ba? dagdagan ng mga old bookmarks o mga remembrance na galing sa camp from your camp barkada. kundi naman mga movie tickets, ribbons/string o kahit ano pa man na may relasyon sa pictures na naka-feature dun.

scrapbooking na yun. pero ngayon natuklasan ko ang mga SCRAPBOOK PAPER. heto na ang bumili ako tuwing maliligaw ako sa mall na may tindahan ng scrapbook materials...ang nakakatawa sa akin ay nanghihinayang ako gamitin ang mga ito. bibili ako tapos nakatago sila sa mga folders/plastic according sa kulay at gumawa. meron na din naman akong mga natodas na binili ko for specific projects like my doggy album, birthday and anniversary albums. sa itinagal ko dito hindi ko namalayan ang dami na pala ng abubot ko. may ilang bags na ang laman ay pintura, mga bulaklak, threads, buttons, beads, tela, pens, brushes, etc. mahirap na i-itemize..

sa ngayon, tumigil muna ako bumili ng mga papel at burloloy. hay salamat. pagnaliligaw ako sa mga craft store, pumipikit nalang ako...hehehe.


ARTS AND CRAFTS

Latest project: felt snowman and "caught"... (this is rudolf CAUGHT in a frenzy of christmas lights. lolz)

isa pa sa hilig ko ay ang pananahi. pangarap ko kasi ang maging mananahi. yung designer ba...hehehe. naalala ba ninyo pag panahon ng exhibit sa school sa H.E. o arts class? nagkakandakumahog tayong nagpapagawa sa nanay ng ating mga art projects?nung elementary, ako ang isa sa laging nauna mag-submit at nae-exhibit...hindi siguro dahil sa maganda ang gawa ko, kundi halatang gawa ko talaga...maaring hindi tuwid ang tahi, wala sa ayos ang kulay, o baka nakita lang ng titser ko na magiliw kong ini-submit ang aking gawa.

mahilig kasi ako sa pagkulay (crayola o watercolor), pag-crochet, pagburda, pag-beading. naalala ko nga ang project namin na ginawan ng frame ng tatay ko. isang beaded na fairy (grade 4 ata ako) dalawang beses nabasag ang salamin dahil napapabayaan ko. pero natutuwa naman ako sa tatay ko dahil supportive siya sa mga hilig ko. pagmay natapos akong painting, o tulad ng aking "fairy", i-fre-frame niya. buti nalang marami ata syang frames.

sa nanay pala ako nagmana manahi. noong buhay pa siya ay lagi kaming may ternong damit ni G, ang aming bunsong kapatid na babae. naalala ko siya, tuwing may pagkakataon isinasama niya ako sa palengke. bumibili siya ng tela, ayaw na ayaw ko sana sumama pero dahil ako ang madalas buntot ng nanay, sama ako kahit na masakit sa mata ang kemikal ng mga tela sa palengke. parang ako ang hilig ko tahiin ay mga blouse, pajama, shorts, bags at kurtina. kaya ng nawala na si nanay, ako na ang nananahi ng kurtina, kobre kama at kung anu-ano pang pwede para mapaganda ang bahay. ayun, medyo hindi pa rin tuwid ang tahi at mapusyaw ang kulay...hehehe


INTERNET

nahalata ko noon ang addiction na ito nang kaming mag-asawa ay inaabot ng madaling araw sa pagko-computer. naging member ako sa iba't-ibang site yahoo, hotmail, g-mail, icq, etc. iba hindi ko na matandaan...natuklasan ko na rin ang paglalaro ng mga games (scrabble, text-twist, bookworm etc.) gayundin ang mga trivia online. another form of addiction...

ang kagandahan pala ng may internet connection, any time pwede kang mag-check ng email, at sumulat din. mag-blog, sumali sa mga forums at mag-research. mas mainam kaysa maghulog ng sulat via airmail at mahihintay ka ng ilang araw bago makarating sa kaibigan mo at maka-respond sila uli. eh kung tamad pa sumulat tulad ng mga kilala ko...(ops.... nagpaparinig) baka mamuti lang ang mata natin sa paghihintay.

TODAY: i saw this old draft from my files. thought i'd post it here...thanks for looking

NOW I know how it is when they say, you would SEE YOUR LIFE FLASHING BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts, on right side the size of an orange (big) 8.8 cm and on the left was 6 cm. My doctor advised us to have them taken out because they have not changed in size after 8 mos. of observation.

I struggled. Hubby and I prayed, and sought others for prayers. I was afraid. A few months ago, a friend passed away unexpectedly from liver cancer. She was my peer in church and I was older by a year. What if it's time for me to check out too? Am I ready? What about E (hubby)? My family? Am I done here? So many questions...

Then as the time for my surgery approached, I received encouragements and prayers from friends by emails. The Lord has given us the financial provision here in Sg, otherwise we had to return to Manila for the operation and without the medical benefits. Can’t just imagine the bills and we have to stay longer. E reminded me, when we had his gallbladder taken out his recovery period was 1.5-2 months.

Finally I had the surgery last NOV 7, 07 at 7am. That morning I didn't have much sleep. But I was ready. The Lord was in control. He will see me through. That time I was lying on the gurney on my way to the operating room, in my head, I was singing gospel songs...praying...(commenting: ANG TAGAL NAMAN! ) then more...gospel songs...verses: even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for YOU ARE WITH ME….

When I came to, I was at the recovery room for the longest time. Next thing I knew, I was in the room with E. Later that evening my doctor came, showed us 2 pictures of the cysts. She told us they were able to take out all the cysts and that they are BENIGN, meaning not cancerous. PRAISE THE LORD! Then she gave us more advises for faster recovery and will come again to check up on me the next day.

I was more than rejoicing when it was time to go home! I was beside myself….(so happy!) makakatulog na rin ako ng maayos...or so I thought...at least now my sleeping time has increased to 4 hrs. (hehehe)

We thank the Lord for everything. For His care, guidance, love and healing power. He has also shown comfort through our family and friends who were praying and encouraging us. We are blessed. Not yet time to “check out”, therefore God has other “things”, HIS purpose lined up for me, as an individual…and for E and I, as a couple.

LOVING LIFE? Guess not, Living Life with a purpose. GOD’S.
A tall order? For somebody who came close to death's door , at one point or another you will ask yourself: what is my purpose in life?

these were questions my churchmates and friends asked me yesterday. i have to praise the Lord for His goodness. i am fine and not experiencing any pain at all. aside from the feeling of being bloated I'M DOING GREAT! sometimes i just feel nauseous because of all the air, parang busog ako all the time and i want to burp all the "wind" inside. hehehe.

seriously, i'm taking things slow. but still doing all my routine chores and my crafts. i love staying at home. this is something my girlfriends here, ask me "how to you do it?" i guess the husbands want to know as well how i cope with my being home all the time.

first, you've got to love your home. hehehe. our home is a small cozy hdb. not all grand and stuff but, we love it. simple and neat (that is, if i get around cleaning the place which is at least 2x a week...hehehe). our landlandy is so cool as well. anyway, we love fixing the place up. and the location is very ideal and accessible to our church, hubby's work and of course, the cbd.

second, got my interests to keep me going. i love to read. our place is three blocks away from the community library. usually once or twice a week i spend my afternoons browsing, reading, sketching, returning and borrowing more books from the lib.

i also enjoy emailing friends and blogging. thanks to technology we can keep in touch with our families and friends (daily). i send emails as much as i can, kahit hindi sila sumasagot. hats off to my relatives/friends for their prompt and fast reply. sarap din mag-blog even if i only have a few things to say.

arts and crafts: i'm in to scrapbooking, drawing and painting, want to go into carpentry...takot lang sa lagari (saw) kaya i can handle mga minor pukpok, screwing (the nails etc), can do a mean dressed up table or chair. sewing now has reduced to LILIP tamad kasi, no more dressmaking or cross stitch. masakit na rin sa mata. but if i need to make a purse or curtain...shorts or blouse pwede pa rin.

now i'm into jewelry making. last time i was home, yan ang naging pasalubong namin sa girls ko. sabi nga ni E, yun ang isang kilo mahigit na nagpabigat sa maleta namin. hehehe. they are more of semi-precious stones, plastic, and metal bracelets/connectors/hooks/blings. at di lang 10-15 pieces but MORE. i guess, i went overboard...yan kasi ang naging libangan ko since march 07 ata. maganda eh, i mean it is a relaxing hobby in a theraputic kind of way...hehehe.

sabi ko nga sa kanila..(my friends) i can think of a lot of things to do at home...kaya i can stay at home and still enjoy my time. hehehe. manuod ng korean drama, ibahin ang ayos ng bahay na pag-uwi ni E nagkapalit na ang ayos ng sala sa dining...ganun bang klase. or mag-telebabad. you know those sort of things.

you have to be creative. now that christmas is coming up you can start your decorations early. hehehe. tulad ng nakwento ko before, my sister and i visualize our christmas setting as early as the months of BER (september). tapos we decorate our house in mkna by november 1. sayang naman ang decors kung dec. lang ilalagay di ba?

o siya, got to run along...may therapy session pa ako sa labahan ko. hehehe... ayun pa pala you can try running, exercising and pilates/aero. coming from a person who haven't exercised in 2 weeks or so...at least i plan to...kailangan lang simulan...PS. umuulan pala, so postpone ang labada (baka hindi maganda ang tuyo). probably just clean up and do more jewelries. i saw this bracelet from the library the other day....lol!

LIFE is so complex as man is. recently, hubby and i had time for a holiday back home (manila). hectic but still had a great time with our families. we had a routine check-up and ultrasound. for this year got a 2nd one, becoz i experienced a sharp pain in my lower abdomen which lasted for a day. my doctor here, advised me to observe. she gave me some pain killers and a referral in case it was appendicitis.the 2nd scan says I have 3 gallstones, 2 kidneystones and cysts in the ovaries.

so we decided to have myself checked out. face my fears. last week, i had 3 consultations: gen. physician who gave us the referrals to a general surgeon (gallstones/kidneystones) and an obgyn.today, our main concern is the ovarian cysts. we are praying that the cysts are benign and they won't have to take out an ovary. they have grown considerably, the left one as big as a baby's head. so the specialist advised it to be taken out soon.

at present, i have so much on my mind. i can't think straight. i am so afraid. but i keep thinking how the Lord has proven Himself in our lives. how good and gracious He is. He is in control of everything and that He will give us the strength to go through difficulties and uncertainties in life. i thank God for the friends who surround us with His love and comfort. We can rest assured that no matter how things turn out, we can always rely on the Lord for He is in control.

singapore is 42 today!

e and i watched the celebration on tv. very festive and exciting. the platform was well prepared and the programme was dramatic. they were able to use the element of water since the venue is surrounded by water at the marina bay, thus the cool landing for the divers and speed boats manuevers. there was the usual air show from the military and the red fox parachute jumps.

we were simply amazed how sg celebrates her birthday year after year. how the schools, the young and old, the government and different agencies come together for this great party. how elaborate their decors, costumes, and fireworks were. i can't help but be impressed with the work they did with the choreography and time they spent preparing for this occasion.hats off to you, singapore!

The Blessing of Life
"Waking up every morning is a blessing" I remember one of my friends say. It really is. How often do we stop and thank God for every breath we take? Or the blessing of just being here...or there?

Yesterday I was faced with 2 very different views. One of my friends, Ana (not her real name) was admitted in the hospital. Hers was a rare case. She have tried different doctors and medications. They say there is no other known case like hers. Yet she is full of life, hope and love. "The Lord sustains me", she says. Amen! Amen! For three years, she's been in and out of hospitals for various tests and scans. Ana and her family have grown closer and faith stronger.

Last night, I received an email from Terry (not her real name, as well) another good friend. "It's like I'm drowning..." she says. She's on the verge of giving up on life. Working 15 hrs a day, just to survive and so as not to be reminded of a life full of grief. In her mind she is "suffering", and would like to simply give up. Of course, I emailed her back ASAP. Prayed that she would seek the Lord who is the answer to all questions and situations.

I told her how I was in the same position a few years ago. I wanted more...More of life. Asking myself: Is there all there is to it? wala naman akong problema, I was happy too, lovelife? mukhang ok naman and family life, as well. Pero alam ko my kulang pa rin. Then I asked, should I die, san kaya ako pupunta? Morbid but these thoughts crossed my mind...

It was then I realized that the Lord sends people, like friends to encourage, and share the love of God...kahit ayaw mo. There were times, tinataguan ko pa si "S" because she was too persistent. Puntahan ka pa sa bahay at tadtarin ka ng tracts. Nahiya naman ako, and I considered her a good friend kaya nakikinig ako. It was then the Word she shared had taken root in my heart and when it was time, I received the Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior and I acknowledged that I was a sinner.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ." Romans 3:23-24

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved. Because it is with your hear that you believe and are justified, and it is with our mouth that you confess and are saved." Romans 10:9-10

I was so happy I was washed as "white as snow" because the promise was ...."I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. (Psalm 51:7) It was like a really heavy weight was lifted from my heart. Knowing that your sins are forgiven and now a child of God.

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will but born of God." John 1:12

My life now, isn't without trials. They do come. But this time I won't be alone. I have the Lord to protect, guide and encourage me. He fights for me and reminds me constantly of His promises of love, peace and hope. Jesus is my Jehovah Nissi, the Lord is my Banner. (Exodus 17:15; Psalm 4:6)

I pray that my dear friend will seek the Lord and for sure she will find Him. Knocking...waiting on her heart's door. (Rev. 3:20) "I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

"Ironic? Here are two different cases. One, desires to live inspite of the physical condition she has and the other, a bright and healthy woman..wants to give up on life. What is LIFE to us?

The bottomline is: It is the Lord Jesus who gives TRUE MEANING to our lives. He is the reason why we live. To worship Him and give him glory in all areas of our lives.
Dear Reader,
If you want to experience God's unfailing love and power in your life, please pray this simple prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus, I acknowledge that I am a sinner. Forgive all my sins. Wash me clean as "white as snow". And I accept You, Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I believe in my heart that God raised you from the dead to save us. Now help me live my life in You. Thank you Lord you have forgiven me and accepting me as your child. In Jesus' Name I pray, amen.

After praying this:
1. It is important you read the Bible for it is the Word of God. Start with the Gospel of Mark. Then from there you can move on to the other Gospels and the Old Testament books. A study guide can be a great help. Let God speak to you through His Word.

2. Pray. Talk to God...pour our hearts to our Heavenly Father. The Lord wants to know what is in our hearts, our pains, our joys and even our inner most desires. Pray without ceasing.

3. Fellowship with other believers. It is important also that we as believers attend a fellowship with others to hear the Word of God being preached, pray and worship.
Take care. God loves you!
Posted by mindfull reflections at Thursday, July 19, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007

felt great! added one more year last monday. i'm 44!been so busy the past few days. i didn't realize it was the 3rd month already of the year. how time flies....

a few days ago, i learned from a churchmate one of my peers passed away. she was diagnosed with liver cancer only last feb 24. i felt down and grieved for her, our church and her family. i also realized she was with the Lord now, no more pain, no more sorrow.... "...to die is gain..." recalling how she was before and what ministries we were involved in as youths, i found joy and the love she had for the ministry. she gave her all. i know she will be fondly remembered for the warmth she brought to us, her friends, family and the church.

i thank the Lord for exciting year of adventure and opportunities. for good health...and a loving family.